Your anger can be an ally or an enemy. Anger generally feels painful and uncomfortable when you experience it, but it is an integral part of your humanness and important to your physical and emotional survival. Anger is a fact of life. However, it does not mean you have to be controlling, punishing, or abusive. Depending on how you use it, your anger can build self-confidence and self-esteem, and enhance relationships, or it can create guilt, shame, and remorse and destroy relationships and intimacy.

When Anger Becomes a Problem

• The intensity of the angry reaction is too great
• It occurs too frequently
• It lasts too long
• It triggers fear and intimidation in others, creates emotional distance between you and others, and it disrupts your relationship with those around you.
• It interferes with getting your work done or creates problems for you on the job.
• It restricts you ability to have fun, be spontaneous, play, and relax.
• It begins to cause physical symptoms, such as headaches and back pain.
• It leads to throwing, hitting, or breaking things.
• It leads to emotional, verbal, sexual, or physical abuse of others
• It leads to legal consequences related to how you express your anger (ex. Restraining orders, disorderly conduct, or assault charges)